dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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