So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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