tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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