Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
