Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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