only you would photoshop your dick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
