So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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