Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think i have two assholes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
where are my eyebrows?
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