There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
