No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
