He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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