there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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