You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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