you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
