I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize