i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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