thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
