ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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