i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
