i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize