so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
