He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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