my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he shaved USA in his pubs
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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