I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
either way he was missing a nipple.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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