I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
