you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
