if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
