Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
