I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
