Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
