I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize