even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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