lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
