he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
