sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
