Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
