the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
