i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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