in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
