PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
