Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
