Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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