So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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