You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
