I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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