i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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