My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
