If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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