I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
And then he peed in my hair
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