he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
