lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
