after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
