you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's always time for handjobs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
