): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
