I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
