we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
