I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
